An Update to Small Group Leaders | Girls Ministry Fall 2013

Hi there,

I want to give a little update on the life of our Girls Ministry.  What a whirlwind of a semester! Or is it just me that feels that way?  It has flown by and it’s already time for Christmas party planning to start! What?!

I wanted to let you all know that I’m very thankful for each of you that are involved in our girls’ lives.  It means so much that they have you walking through life with them, caring for them, listening to them.  I hear stories from so many of our girls of what an impact our small group leaders are making on their lives.  So if they don’t always say so to you, let me tell you on their behalf that you matter and are making a difference in their lives.  I know we tell you all the time, but we really couldn’t do ministry without you all.  It would be impossible for the us to know all the students the way that you all do.  So thank you!

I got a text today from one of our 11^th grade girls that made my heart sing.  It led me to realize that you all might want to be updated on some things I’ve seen God do in our girls this semester.  So much!  He is so good and faithful, even when the days seem crazy or darker than usual.

So here are a few ways that the Lord is moving in our girls:

Girls desiring to know Scripture – This has shown up several times over the past few weeks.  One girl told me in the text mentioned earlier, “BG I really need to get to learn the stories of the Bible better.  I think they’re super interesting.”  What?!  This is a dream text to get.  Usually I get texts about boy drama, or fights between girls…but no, this girl desires to know scripture more. And it’s not just her.  I’ve had conversations with several students desiring to know how to know the Bible better.  This is a cool way that God is moving in their hearts. I can’t tell you how exciting it is to know that they want to know God better. Yay!

Community built – I’ve seen so many instances this semester where our girls are finding true friendships.  I think for a while our students would come, know some people on surface levels, and then go home and hang out with school friends.  I’ve seen over the past semester friendships form that go beyond schools and the church.  They call each other out when they miss church or are not walking the right path.  They have sleepovers without prompting from adults; they are doing life together and encouraging each other in their relationships with Christ.  I think some may see it as “cliques” but I don’t know that they’re exclusive. Sometimes they are, but I think our students have grown over the past semester in accepting new people. This is cool to me!  These friendships share something greater than many school friendships do – they share Christ.  Those who play basketball together share basketball and once basketball season ends, they might have a few things in common, but many times those friendships fade.  Church friendships seem to last, or at least what I’ve noticed, because they share a relationship with Christ.
Another aspect of community is that girls will go to their small group leaders or other members of their small groups before other people when there’s a problem.  They have trust and security within our ministry.  There are also girls sticking up for other girls in hard situations, the love and support they show – and you show – when things get tough for families or friends.  Within our community, they laugh together, hurt together, cry together, are goofy together, and move on together.  This is really encouraging to be part of and to see.

Girls on the fringe – I made a list this year of all the girls active in our ministry.  Whoa, there’s a lot!  And we’ve grown throughout the semester, with new people.  With this list, I started to sort of mark off the ones that I knew well or have conversations with regularly, and that hit a good number of them, but definitely not all.  So then I started to look at who they were and reach out to them and what I learned was that many of the ones I considered “on the fringe” –because I didn’t necessarily know them – were actually plugged in with other girls or with their small groups.  And many of them have just gotten plugged in this semester.  Some that were coming with their boyfriends actually have friends among other girls.  And many of the new girls have come, stuck, and gotten very plugged in.  Like several of the girls in the middle school worship team; they are new-ish and already leading.  There are still some that are probably “on the fringe,” but this semester has been one of community.  I can’t reach them all, but with your help and with the help of our girls, they can be known and cared for.  Cool.

The counseling room – anyone know what I’m talking about?  Yup.  The bathroom.  Can I just tell you how many times I’ve walked in awkwardly to the bathroom only to find girls crying or hashing out drama?  One particular Wednesday night I walked in on two girls, one was sobbing with the other trying to comfort her.  I stopped to listen and help, but then a visitor walked in on them and the awkwardness continued.  Not to say that this is bad.  It opened up a good conversation later with the visitor.  But the cool thing about this moment was that I wasn’t needed to help this sobbing girl.  The friend had it all under control.  And this bathroom is a place of comfort to the girls.  I asked a small group Sunday how they felt about it, and they all agreed that it was the safe place to cry, collect themselves, and deal with drama.  In the bathroom. Nice.  This happened with some middle schoolers one Sunday morning too.  The bathroom drama stories could be endless, and I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about.  It is cool that our girls are at a place where they are able to help one another, comfort each other, and walk in life together.
As a side note, I’m thinking of painting the bathroom a happier color and putting Bible verses of comfort around.  Any ideas are welcomed!

Called to Ministry – so many conversations this semester have revolved around our girls wanting to do ministry.  There are several girls feeling the call to ministry.  God is at work, people!  I love hearing girls come to know Christ, and I love when they make friends, and I love that they have a desire for Scripture.  But for some reason, maybe because it’s impacted me personally, when I hear girls tell me or others that they want to do ministry for life, I get giddy.  I think that this reflects the fruit of their relationship with Christ more than some other things.  It means that they really get what Christ is calling us to do and are being selfless enough to understand giving their lives, hopes and dreams to Christ.  There are girls that want to do girls ministry, student ministry, missions, and beyond.  Some are already doing this.  I know a 9^th grader that is leading FCA at Wakeland.  She’s teaching senior football players the Bible.  Not just the happy stories either; she told me she’s teaching on “getting out of the boat,” being connected to the vine (John 15), and calling them all out on the type of language they use.  Awesome!  Others are leading in their schools or within the ministry.  I can’t wait to see how God uses so many of them the rest of this year, and beyond high school and college.

I know that you all have so many stories of what God is doing in your small groups and in your ministries.  I would LOVE to hear them!  We only see a glimpse of what is happening, and so we love to hear your stories.  So be encouraged that God is at work.  He is doing great things in our ministry, and will continue to use you and our girls.  I’m thankful that God has put me in this church, this ministry, and that He is moving in the lives of our girls.

Love,

Brittany

Tea, Lemonade and Cupcakes!

Last Friday, our 6th grade girls got together for a little tea party! I am so excited to have these girls in our student ministry now! It’s been a blast getting to know them over the past few weeks! I’m looking forward to all that God is going to do in the lives of these girls over the next few years.

I thought of no better way to kick-off their time in our ministry than with a tea party! (We substituted real tea with some raspberry tea and pink lemonade!) What a great time we had of being girly, silly, and laughing so much. The goal of the night was to make the girls feel special, girly, and like the princesses that they are. I feel like we were definitely girly and we talked about how much we are loved and valued in God’s eyes.

Here are a few pictures from some games we played, a photo booth, and the giant cupcakes (thanks to Dimples bakery) we ate!

Who doesn’t love 4 boxes of cupcakes?!

These lovely ladies are a few of our 9th graders who were a tremendous help setting up and cleaning up Friday. It is always good to see older students getting involved and investing in younger girls.

Another great night, and another reminder of how blessed I am to serve these girls!

The Plunge

Well, I finally did it. I said goodbye to simplicity and comfort and frustration and finally jumped into the world of smartphones. Hello team iPhone! I’ve always tried to keep my life as clutter free as possible and stood my ground when all my students tries to convince me to come out of the dark ages. But I’ve given in. And you know, it feels pretty nice. I’m actually typing this post on the phone right now. The wonders of the Internet! This little box can do all sorts of amazing things!

Here’s the challenge I face: keeping the simplicity.
I know that The Lord calls us to remove distractions, live more simply, but in today’s world we don’t always do that. We get busy and add apps and tv shows, more after school activities and turn the music up loud. And sometimes in doing all that, we lose the wonder. So as good as The Lord is, He gave me the right words this morning. I was doing my devotional (I’m going through Ann Voskamp’s 1000 Gifts devotional) and this morning’s was titled “Urgent Grace.” She talks about how God gives us time, but so often we don’t have time for God. She goes on to talk about how being in a hurry can often lead to regret because we miss the moment we’re in due to worry over the next moments. Hello! being fully present in each moment, each conversation is so important!
She then says,

“Life is so urgent it necessitates living slow.”

Because life is fleeting, we must take in the moments and be slow, reverent. In Christ, time is not running out. We lose time when we don’t sit before Him to fill. Because in the filling, we gain time.

“We stand on the brink of eternity. So there is enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real. Time to laugh long, time to give God glory and to rest deep and to sing joy.”

What words I needed to hear again and again. I’m so fast to neglect spending time at Jesus’ feet, in His Word when life gets busy. But the reality is that when I begin each day with filling myself with Him, I gain time and perspective and all the rest falls into place.

So as I enter the world of smartphones, may I – may we – not lose sight of being present. Of giving attention to conversation instead of virtual social media.
May The Lord fill us as we take this urgent life slow.

Social Media Thoughts

As Social Media director for our youth ministry, articles like these stand out to me. I love this blog anyway because the women who run it speak blunt truth to the teenage ladies of this world. But this particular topic has become an issue with quite a lot of girls lately (at least the ones I follow), so here’s a good, short read:

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1915

I think that it not only applies to Instagram, but Twitter and Facebook as well. Instagram is mainly used by middle schoolers and filled with “selfies”. Selfies basically tell the world that you think you’re the prettiest person ever and that you want some affirmation of that. As ladies, we especially thrive off of what other people say about us – shown in how many “likes” we get on a single picture. How vain do our posts then seem? Can we please find self-esteem in Christ, the complete Creator of beauty, instead of imperfect people?

This not only happens with pictures, but on Twitter as well. Apparently the new thing is to “subtweet.” This is basically complaining or gossiping about someone without mentioning who it is. It not only is annoying to one’s followers, it’s definitely not edifying to the Body of Christ. Would you say that tweet to their face? If not, why post it? There are much better ways to handle frustration. Does it really need to be said, online or to a friend??

What a great thought to use social media to glorify Christ instead of ourselves.
How would our lives look if we applied this not only to Instagram and Twitter, but to every aspect of our lives??

So as we consider what we are putting on social media, let’s remember to encourage one another, share the joy from our lives, and point to Jesus and not to vanity. I’m not saying to never post a “selfie” but to seriously think and pray about the motivation behind the post. And in any tweet or other picture, are your motives pure and will they encourage others or bring joy? These are things I need to think about myself.

As Daughters of the King, stewards of all that God has given us, being made holy by the Lord, and examples of who Christ is, let’s be mindful of what we are putting on social media, and what is coming out of our mouths and of our body language.

Middle School Girls movie night

Tonight was one of our first events with just girls. So what did we do? Watch She’s The Man, naturally! It was a blast to have so many girls at church on a Friday night laughing together. I’m sure it is the first of many nights like these to come. (:

The Question of Why

In May, I stepped into the role of ‘girls minister’ at FBC Frisco. So many times I’ve been asked why it is that I do what I do.

Simple, Jesus told me to.

I grew up going to church, and came to accept Christ at an early age. While in the youth group, walking with the Lord became really personal and real to me. One of the most defining moments in my faith came the summer after my freshman year of high school at church camp. Every Thursday at camp we would spend the morning in what was called a “concert of prayer.” The entire camp would gather and pray over the government, schools, families, churches, missionaries, and so on. This one year, as we were praying over our youth ministers, my youth minister came up and put his hand on my shoulder, and we stood praying for each other for a while. It was a very special moment. When we were done praying, Adam gave me a hug and asked me if I had ever considered being a missionary. I said yes, my grandparents were missionaries in Africa, so going on missions was always an option. I had been on a few mission trips prior to that, and loved serving God that way. Adam told me that when he placed his hand on my shoulder, he had the most vivid image of me on the mission field surrounded by little black children. We talked more about it, and we really felt that God had shown Adam a clear direction for my life. God had called me to foreign missions. The call was as real and as clear as my mom’s call to dinner each night. The emotions of that day were so contrasting. What peace and excitement I felt that God would call me, but what fear there was also in living a life completely different from everything the world expects.

I continued to serve God and the church in various ways through high school. I was very involved in our youth group, and we experienced several youth pastor changes throughout my time in high school. I went out of the country on several trips, but found that serving God and being “on mission” did not strictly mean leaving Frisco.

In 11^th grade, two faith-impacting things happened: I made a best friend, and my youth group was without a youth pastor for a very long time. (Which was also remedied in the most positive way later that same year). I had friends all through school, but never ones that I felt were true friends. I especially struggled in the youth group fitting in with the girls in my Sunday school classes. They were much “cooler” and more popular than me, and they had been friends for so long that I just did not fit in. When Amy moved to our church, we hit it off immediately. We were at a similar point spiritually, and we are so alike in many ways. Looking back, I feel that this was a changing point in my life – I had friends!

Losing Adam as a youth pastor was not as devastating as we thought it would be. It was a good move for him, and their family has done great, impactful things for the Church. And it was good for me to experience change. What happened when he left, however, was nothing. For a good amount of time there were no Bible studies happening, no outside events. Nothing. As I saw my youth group slow down, Amy and a few other close friends and I decided that we needed to do something. What could we do? We were only 17. It was intimidating to teach our peers, so we decided to do what we could manage. We started a middle school girls Bible study. When I tell people of this, they look at me like I’m crazy for willingly hanging out with middle schoolers. It was one of the most rewarding times. To teach girls the Word, to pour into them and build relationships, to laugh and have fun in a godly way; that time taught me so much.

The next few years, God continued to teach me through various situations and experiences. He used Chris, my youth minister, now “boss,” in big ways.  Joy and laughter permeated my years as his student.  Our close relationship helped me to see what ministry was like, and allowed me to be part of the leadership of our church. So the changes that happened in 11th grade were big, but so good. Looking back, despite the sometimes hardness then, God knew what He was doing. Throughout this time, my life was also consumed with band at school.  I had relationships with people who were so different than me and who believed different things than I did.

When I went off to college, I began visiting churches with my roommate. The second church we went to immediately felt like home. The church reminded me of FBC Frisco, and the people were so welcoming. Before the service was even over I had made up my mind to make it my church home in Arkadelphia. During the Sunday school class, a lady made an announcement asking for helpers with the youth group. Somehow, my introverted self found her at the end of the service and volunteered to help. What started as a small step, turned into what I think defines my time at college. For the first few years, I served with about ten other college students as an intern team under Jason and Sarah, the husband-and-wife youth ministers. It was such a blessing to be able to learn from Jason, and to do ministry and life with the team. We really became so close, and lived with a desire to impact students’ lives. The last two years, Jason asked me to fill the associate’s position as associate youth minister and girls minister. I willingly agreed and spent the summer with the Park Hill Youth. These kids became family. Jason and Sarah are more like parents than bosses, and God moved in such big ways through my time there. I’m struggling to even put words to my experiences in Arkansas, but overall God put a passion in me to reach teenagers for the Kingdom.

Throughout this time, there was always the 9^th grade call to foreign missions in the back of my mind. I had spent the summer after 10^th grade in Uruguay with missionaries, and a few other summer weeks in Jamaica since then with missions, but once college hit, my mission field was Arkansas. At times this was confusing. Hadn’t God called me to little children surrounding me in Africa? Why did my passport expire, keeping me in the States? I was loving where I was at, and God was teaching me so much, but what about that call? Last summer, my younger brother and I decided to go out of the country. We both love adventure, foreign missions and Spanish. Therefore we contacted some missionary friends and asked if they needed help for the summer. They needed some summer interns, and they willingly let us stay with them in Santiago, Chile. What a blast! We had the opportunity to teach in schools, share Jesus, and learn to ski in the Andes. (And so much more.) However, the entire time we were there Brandon and I would have conversations about why we were there. Not us specifically, but American missionaries in general. We did not feel that our trip was contrary to God’s will, but we did wonder why the IMB had so many missionaries in Chile when most of the churches in Santiago were run by Chileans and functioned on their own. What right did we as Americans have to impose our ideals on them? There was an uneasy feeling. As I was praying about it one day, God told me that the reason I felt so uneasy about the missions was because He wanted me in the States for a while. Maybe someday, for a time, I’ll live overseas. But for now I’m in the country.

A few weeks after Chile, I was having lunch with Chris and he asked me what I learned while in Chile and I told him about being in the country and not overseas. As he listened to my experiences and we talked through things, he then sat and thought for a moment and said that there’s an opportunity to start the girls ministry and have a full-time girls minister with the FBC youth group, and that we should pray about it if I’m interested. We were both pretty excited about it and hesitant at the same time. This would be so new for both of us. We knew we could work together because we had in the past, but is this the right position? For about six months we just prayed about it. No talking about it, no planning, just praying. One of the reasons I respect Chris is for his commitment to prayer. The more I prayed, the more excited I became. Ideas kept coming in my head. My dad was even very excited about girls ministry, and has brainstormed so many helpful ideas with me. Almost a year after those initial conversations, the idea came to fruition.  He called one night (far too late, might I add) and in a sarcastic mood, seriously asked me to come work for him.  After a year serious prayer over whether it was the right decision or not, I said yes, and have been so blessed to be back in Frisco – a place I never thought I’d move back to.

So here I am. Why Frisco, why Teal, why girls ministry? Because God has placed me here to build relationships, to walk with others as we walk with Christ. It’s simple really. I just tell God’s story and love much because I have been loved much.